In Tandem

I have four kids.

And I feel sometimes

like I melt into their lives.

And something I’ve been doing

to keep myself alive—

is choosing activities

that I really enjoy.

So recently I picked up kayaking

and cooking over an open fire.

Things I can do with them—

but also, they’re mine.

Because I think one of the most difficult things

about being a parent—

particularly of a lot of kids,

but I think in general as a mother—

is that you lose who you are.

If you’re a good one,

you lose who you are.

You lose what you’re doing,

what your passions are,

and your kids’ passions,

your kids’ interests,

your kids’ struggles—

they all become yours.

So you almost don’t have time

to be… yourself.

And as you kind of pull yourself

out of these things,

you have to find something

that you can do in tandem with them—

so that it feels

more accessible,

more doable.

This is something I wanted to share

because it is so incredibly difficult

as you stand in it all

and try to figure out

how to manage who you are

versus who your kids are—

and how you’re evolving

into the woman

that you’re meant to be.

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